At this point, the European Union is less of a powerhouse and more of a sandbox for tech giants. Imagine a laboratory mouse convinced it’s solving a maze when, in reality, Jeff Bezos built the walls. Got the picture?
While the EU debates yet another round of digital regulations, GAFAM, Elon Musk & Co. are speeding ahead at Falcon Heavy velocity, while Brussels negotiates like a turtle with arthritis. If the world’s largest economy (yes, that’s us) is being colonized right before our eyes, spoiler alert: it’s already happened.
East India Company 2.0: The Empire Strikes Back
A quick history refresher.
The East India Company started as a humble trading firm moving spices and textiles. Before long (and with some generous help from bribery and muskets), it ended up governing large parts of India. The British Parliament? Captured. Local economies? Crushed. All in the name of free trade and progress.
Now, look around you.
Amazon controls over 50% of Europe’s e-commerce. Google decides which businesses exist on the internet and which remain invisible. Elon Musk determines who can speak (or be silenced) on X (formerly Twitter), with the grace of a Roman emperor in mid-burnout. Microsoft and Apple have turned their software into essential monopolies, making innovation a subscription-based service.
And Brussels? They’re still hosting meetings. Lots of meetings.
Corporate Takeover: Same Game, New Players
The East India Company bought off British politicians, and today’s tech giants do the same, except now it’s called lobbying and comes with PR-friendly buzzwords.
In 2022 alone:
Amazon spent €14.6 million lobbying Brussels. Google: €11 million. Apple: €7.5 million.
That buys a lot of croissants and "constructive conversations." The result? Regulations that look more like guidelines than real restrictions.
Meanwhile, the U.S. itself is cracking down on GAFAM—and here we are, Europe, the lax parent that lets the kids run wild.
Who Controls the Infrastructure, Controls the Power
The East India Company monopolized trade routes. Today, Big Tech has locked down digital infrastructure:
80% of Europe’s data is stored on U.S. servers. 95% of cloud computing services are dominated by AWS, Microsoft Azure, and Google Cloud. Cybersecurity? AI? Also in American hands.
We thought we had an army, a banking system, and an economy. But what happens if Google decides tomorrow that France no longer meets its terms of service? Poof. No emails. No documents. No internet presence.
Imagine an entire nation getting “account suspended.”
Why Does Europe Keep Getting Played?
Simple:
We can’t say no. We regulate industries we don’t own. We love endless debates.
While Washington and Beijing build tech empires, we’re still debating whether Qwant can compete with Google (hint: it can’t).
The EU tried fighting back with Gaia-X (sovereign cloud), but the ship has already sailed. It’s 2025, and we’re negotiating for crumbs like a divorced couple arguing over who gets the dog.
What Can Europe Do to Avoid Becoming a Digital Theme Park?
There’s still a narrow window, but it’s closing fast. Some ideas (free of charge, Brussels, if you're listening):
1. Stop Being Naïve
The U.S. and China protect their strategic industries. Europe needs to do the same. No more naïve "yes, but free markets..."
2. Invest Heavily in Alternatives A mandatory European cloud for critical public and private data. Massive funding for AI, cybersecurity, and digital startups. A functioning European search engine (no, Qwant doesn’t count). 3. Tax the Hell Out of Multinationals Exploiting Europe If Amazon sells in Europe, it pays European taxes. If Google extracts European data, it pays for it. If Musk plays the digital cowboy, he follows EU laws. 4. End Internal Divisions
Multinationals exploit the fact that Ireland and Luxembourg act as tax havens. The EU must coordinate to prevent some nations from playing against their own interests.
Europe Must Act Before There’s Nothing Left
We’ve already lost part of the battle. But it’s not over.
If the European Union doesn’t radically change its course, it will become an administrative extension of Silicon Valley.A giant accounting office where French, German, and Spanish engineers work for GAFAM—until AI replaces them.
Time to stop playing nice and start defending our own interests.
Or we might as well change our official slogan to:
“Welcome to the Siliconian Union of Europe, premium call center since 2025.”